Doing Less To Create More
As a solopreneur, there was never a day off. Every minute spent not working was a minute less making money and each month was a battle.
Sometimes it was a battle to make anything at all. Other times it was a battle to beat the previous month. It was always a battle and it always exhausted me (especially when I entered my 30s.)
My situation has changed a lot since then; I am currently an in-house performance coach at a cutting-edge legal education company, I run a thriving boutique coaching practice and am on track for a remarkable year - marrying the woman of my dreams and building a beautiful home for our family.
Despite the progress, I often slip back into old patterns of thinking around doing more, learning more, earning more, creating more....more, more, more, more.......
The sensations of overhwhelm begin to flood once more and I catch myself, and recall that there are only 3 things my attention actually needs to focus on: my family, my self, my work.
And within each of those, 3-4 more areas of focus:
Family - quality (connection & communication) of our relationship, our daughter, our wedding and new home.
Self - personal development, social connection, wellbeing/happiness
Work - serving more people in less time, more impact, upskilling
When I remind myself of my few focuses, I allow everything else to melt away and I sink back into a relaxed and creative state (so I'm able to write this article for example!).
You've heard it many times but what does it practically mean to do less and create more?
Here's my take:
Less Doing >>
Because of my conditioning to be constantly moving and creating in order to make ends meet, I constantly find myself working on something, whatever it may be.
I keep myself busy because it makes me feel like I am contributing to my goals and ambitions.
When I look at my calendar and activities, a fraction (20%) of these actually directly contribute to my vision.
As a result, next to each task, I write what it contributes to, to check whether it's worth the time and energy (eg writing this article
contributes to helping more people in less time).
I've found that having nothing to do that actively contributes to my vision is really uncomfortable and again, the internal urges and fears arise to push me into doing something, anything.
Just as I have coached business owners, senior leaders and athletes around creativity being unleashed in the quiet, I too find that my biggest breakthroughs come in the space of nothing, or simply being (e.g when you're in the shower or taking a walk and ideas just pop in your mind uncontrolably - or is that just me?).
Creating space for you and your mind to process, be still and embrace the calm, quiet and nothingness is one of the most powerful accelerators I've experienced and also one of the hardest to access for high-achievers.
Less doing what I "have to" and more of what I'd love to.
Many activities in my day were made up of things I felt obligated to do; house chores, father chores, family chores....
Again, I used the very tools I share with my clients and reminded myself of my agency and in particular, the distinction between CREATING and REACTING (one of my favourites).
a) Instead of reacting to other peoples' requests and demands, I can take initiative and create and do that task my way and on my terms eg make a special meal for the family during the week or take my daughter shopping rather than to the park every day, without feeling guilty.
b) Things I don't particularly enjoy or aren't the best at, I now communicate, to share or delegate the responsibility. (This has improved my relationships and reduced my stress).
c) Remembering and scheduling activities I LOVE DOING like football, socialising with friends, walking (alone) in nature and making time to do these rather than blaming everything else around me for not having time.

More Creating >>
While doing less is one part of the equation, creating more is the other.
Here's how I go about this:
1) Reconnect with my values and vision - I need to constantly do this to avoid going off-track. I recall that my focus is family, fun and freedom and everything I do each day should be in service to those.
2) Express my values in everything I do - oftentimes we do things we don't necessarily enjoy or want to do but they can still be a way to step closer towards our goal and live our values.
For example, I don't enjoy having to go food shopping each week, however, the experience of choosing my own fresh fruit and vegetables is enjoyable.
It's fun to discover new exotic fruits and flavours, chat with the owner (he opens up about his private life more than perhaps he should in public) and I know that I am choosing produce that nourishes my daughter and family.
That's all my values being expressed in a shopping trip.
3) Impact vs Outcome
I've learned to focus more on impact vs reaching the outcome. Outcome can often be tied to ego and internal motivators whereas impact focuses on service and the effect on others.
My attempt at this is to evaluate each of my activities, no matter the size, against how much impact they'll make, and the most important part; even if I never finish them...
To ensure my time is being well spent, I aim to do tasks that at no matter what stage I get to, they will always create value in some shape or form, whether it's financially, my personal development or the value for someone else.
(This releases the guilt of not completing something and makes starting even easier.)
4) I create what everything is - This is an intention I live by and learned from some influential mentors. It allows me to tap into my agency and ability to shape everything as I'd love it to be, serving a purpose, rather than fall victim to circumstance.
I have by no means completely mastered this process (though mastery itself is purely consistency + improvement) which is why I am willing to share my failings and learnings as I go.
Where can you do less and create more in your relationships, wellbeing, work, finances or fun?
What 1 thing will you do next as a result of reading this?
Win the week ahead,
Stefano